According to Charles Muir, when the sex is good in a committed relationship, it becomes only 10% of the issue in the relationship. When the sex is bad, it becomes 90% of the issue in the relationship. What we know as sex therapists is that desire differences within a committed partnership are natural, normal, and expected, so please, relax, and read on.
People are sexual beings beginning only months after birth but our primary sexuality proliferates with puberty and continues until the end of life. While healthy sexuality is a very personal question, the purpose of sex therapy is to explore possibilities which will contribute to a more vibrant, whole, joyful, fulfilling, sexual experience for your life. Healthy sexuality is determined by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical, religious, and spiritual factors. Given all of these factors, sometimes what could become a naturally fulfilling process becomes very confusing, difficult, and internally conflictual.
Sex Therapy – Commonly Treated Concerns
People look to therapy as a resource for a variety of reasons, including:
- Lack of sexual education or comfort in embracing one’s sexuality
- Problems getting or staying aroused or “turned on”
- Blending of spiritual/religious moral beliefs with healthy expression of sexuality
- Discrepancy in sexual desire between partners
- Unable to reach orgasm, either currently or throughout your life
- Establishing healthy sexual life following past sexual abuse or trauma
- Body image concerns interfering with sexual expression
- Difficulty communicating with your partner about sexual needs/desires
- Fallen into a rut/routine or bored sexually
- Recovery from infidelity and the reestablishment of trust and intimacy
- Menopausal symptoms interfering with sexual expression
- Difficulty maintaining intimacy due to demanding careers and parenting responsibilities
- Rapid ejaculation
- Erectile problems
- Pelvic pain during intercourse
- Questions or confusion about your sexual orientation or expression
- Difficulty experiencing orgasm with one’s partner, despite being able to do so when masturbating
- Coping with the emotional toll that infertility and necessary treatments can cause
- Establishing an active sexual life after childbirth
- Recovery from illness, surgery or cancer and the affects these treatments can have on your emotional health and sexual functioning
- Coping with chronic illness, such as diabetes, heart disease, chronic pain
How Sex Therapy Works
As a nurse and a psychotherapist, I believe in the mind, body, spirit, connection concerning who we are, so I encourage my clients to explore a deeper understanding of their essence on all levels, especially their sexual self.
As human beings, our largest sex organ is our brain. For that reason, when I work with couples who are experiencing any type of sexual derailment, I encourage them to explore any possible negative thoughts, beliefs, or feelings that may be handicapping their intimate sexual time together. We will embrace more effective communication skills and begin to discover or rediscover the most loving, compassionate, lustful parts of yourselves to nurture your relationship. My approach to achieving this goal is quite eclectic. I’ll incorporate various dynamic models of therapy to customize the most effective methods to enhance your possible passionate partnership. Each time we meet, you and your partner will leave the session with practical assignments to practice at home to help improve your intimate/sexual connection for your loving times together.